


Sherlolly Christmas Story 1 - Hope

by kirsty_booth



Series: Sherlolly Christmas 2015 [1]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-26
Updated: 2015-11-26
Packaged: 2018-05-03 11:52:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5289668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kirsty_booth/pseuds/kirsty_booth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first part is how they become a couple, and Molly was Sherlock's hope when he needed it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sherlolly Christmas Story 1 - Hope

**Author's Note:**

> There are mentions of drug cravings and the torture Sherlock suffered in Serbia, but it's only briefly dealt with, so hopefully won't trigger anyone. If you think I should of warned them better, please let me know.

Sherlock felt the snow on his hands, not untimely for the 1st of December. He'd left his gloves at home; maybe the cold would even make these feelings disappear. He received a text on his phone, it was from a dealer Sherlock hadn't seen for years, offering to meet up for some coke. He couldn't survive tonight with his mind palace such a mess and all the thoughts and emotions going on without some help. Tomorrow, in the day time it would be easier to be clean and tomorrow night he'd have a plan. He knew it was his own fault, but now his body and mind was weak. Just one night of release would solve everything.

Sherlock stood outside the den where the dealer said he'd be. Did Sherlock really want to do this again, let everyone down, or prove his critics right. Just then he saw across the road a group of revellers having just left the pub after what looked like an early Christmas party. Sherlock would never be part of a group like that, and he had to admit sometimes that hurt very badly. Here we go again, more negative thoughts, there really was only one thing for it. He was going in, just then he felt someone take his hand. He looked across to see it was Molly.

"Sherlock, you're so much better than this. Please come with me, we can go to my flat it's not that far." She said

"Molly, I'm not better than this. This is what I am, a functional addict. Tonight I need this to get through, it helps my mind. I'm sorry that you and the others seem to think I can be more than this, really I can't." Sherlock didn't look at Molly until he'd finished, but he could see there were tears in her eyes.

She saw him looking at her. "Just the cold stinging my eyes. Please don't think I can't understand the worst of you. I work in the morgue for heaven's sake. At least let me buy you a hot chocolate to warm you up, then maybe we can talk. If you still want to come back here after that I won't stop you. Now, I'm not letting go of your hand anyway. So if you go, we both go together."

Sherlock thought for a moment. A hot drink would help and maybe he had under-estimated Molly. She was stronger than a lot of people gave her credit for. Although he definitely wouldn't take her into that drug den. "One drink, and the conversation will be dull."

  


10 minutes later they were sitting in an overpriced chain coffee shop with even more overpriced hot chocolate covered with cream and some sort of sugary syrup. Molly and insisted on buying a large piece of gingerbread each.

"It's my supper and I've earned it. You don't look like you've eaten for days and the sugar in the cake and drink might help your cravings."

"Yes, well I've been on a police operation, personal well-being hasn't been my top agenda." Sherlock said trying to ignore the loud music, it was some crooner, one the ones his parents used to love to torture Sherlock and Mycroft with on Christmas morning.

"Look where it left you though. Greg told me he warned you against being part of it. Sorry Sherlock, I don't mean to reprimand you, but can you understand how worried we've all been about you."

"I had to do it. DCI Dickenson needed someone who understood the drug culture in London, I was his only hope. I suppose I wanted to prove to myself I could do it." Sherlock said biting into the gingerbread, and feeling more content.

"And did you do that?" 

"You saw me, you know the answer. I'll never be any better than a functioning addict."

"You can be strong when you get cravings though. I still believe in Sherlock Holmes. You just need to learn not to put yourself in situations that will make you cravings worse. And when they are, call on your friends. We want to help. Me especially." Molly blushed and looked down to her drink, focussing on spooning the cream and syrup off. She looked so pretty when she blushed; even now, after what would have been a long shift at work, there was something attractive about her. No, this was wrong, it couldn't happen. He'd hidden his feelings when he returned to London from Serbia, he'd do it again now.

"Mrs Hudson isn't at Baker Street, she's visiting her sister. I couldn't encroach on the Watsons, not just a week after Mary has given birth again. Anyway I'd rather Lilly and William didn't see their 'Uncle Sherlock' like this. I didn't want to visit Graham, Gordon, oh Lestrade, because that would only prove him right, I shouldn't have gone on that case. Mycroft is out of the country I believe, he'd just put into rehab again anyway. I passed Bart's and thought of you, but I didn't want to disrupt your work. I also well... it doesn't matter."

"You thought I couldn't take your thoughts now, well your wrong I can. I reminded you of that before. Sherlock tell me how you're really feeling."

Sherlock choked on his gingerbread. He hated talking to anyone about this, but Molly was right. He could maybe make it through tonight, if he just talked to her.

"On the case I couldn't take anything, too many people watching me. There were others from the police in the den with me and Dickenson insisted I phoned him daily. I faked injecting lots of times, but that still left me with these cravings. Like every part of my body needs the drugs. I also started having nightmares, stuff that happened in Serbia. I need to lock that room of mind-palace in order to function, The things I saw there and were done to me there. Things I can never talk about, it wouldn't be fair to the listener. I just need to lock that room in my mind palace, I don't know how to do that quickly apart from the drugs." Sherlock sipped his drink, realising he didn't feel the need for the drugs quite as much as earlier. It must be because of the food, maybe the company helped though. 

"Try talking about, this has helped a little hasn't it? What about we go back to my flat, I want to keep on eye on you tonight. Tonight, tomorrow, whenever you're ready; you can talk to me or John about Serbia, how ever disturbing we want to help you, you shouldn't be carrying this alone. Have you considered talking to a professional? I know it sounds drastic, but they might understand, be able to help you lock the room. There is another way Sherlock."

  


Sherlock was humming winter wonderland as they left the coffee shop and walked towards Molly flat, he hadn't been a fan of the song before. Possibly it was a sign of how much better his body felt with substance in it, or just knowing he had someone who'd listen to his problems. But also he was realising that Molly was right. There was hope for him, He didn't have to bottle everything up. These new feeling for the woman who had always counted. Maybe he shouldn't ignore them either. Moriarty had under-estimated Molly Hopper and Sherlock was realising he'd made the same mistake. She could handle him and his moods, she was used to his ways. And she was so attractive. Mycroft had always warned him that caring was a disadvantage but perhaps he was wrong. Sherlock was ready to take the risk. As they reached the flat, Molly unlocked the door and walked in. Sherlock followed, and hugged her.

Thank you Molly. Thank you for tonight, thank you for being my hope.

She kissed Sherlock on the lips, giving Sherlock a rush that definitely beat drugs.

  


**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, if you like it, please leave kudos. Comments and Criticism also very welcome


End file.
